Have you ever felt that your just spinning your wheels, never really moving forward? Or have you ever wanted to just run to your car jump in it and drive. Not really knowing where you want to go, only knowing that you can't stay where you are? Or that everything that you are doing doesn't matter, or that your wasting your time, money, emotions, and strength to fail at everything. Or you really want to scream and cry but you don't know why, and you know that you can't for fear of someone hearing you.

Reality sucks.

I don't even know why I feel this way. I feel useless, and worn down. But I still don't want anyone to know. I don't want them to worry, or waste their precious time on me. I have people that care but they feel so far. Nor do I want their pity. I have no need for that.

I guess that is a lie. I know why I feel this way: I have no idea what to do with my life. Money is tight, I am concerned about my loved ones, and I fail at what I want to be. I feel that I am wasting everyone's time by trying to be something that I am not. I want to draw so bad but nothing will come out. It is locked somewhere just out of my reach, taunting me.

I will be fine, because there is nothing really wrong with me. I guess I am feeling out of sorts. I will be okay, cause I have to be. I have no other choice.